I just need to go up stairs and cry my freaking eyes out. Only one problem, it is impossible to do. I went to the nutritionist today. After all the hard work I have been doing for the month. I thought all would be good. I got great numbers only because I won’t eat certain foods. Well my levels are always dropping because of the meds. I have been exercising every day for a month. I may have taken off a few days to give my body a rest. Well I thought all was good until I stepped on the scale.
Damn, Damn, Damn! (sorry for the Lango, but if you was me you would say the same thing.) I gained weight! This is not good for me. The more weight I gain the harder it is to live with diabetes. The key is to lose freaking weight and not gain it. This doesn’t help me at all. The more I gain my meds will be upped.
To say it is muscle that is a long shot. I walked for miles a day. I jogged some. I even got on the elliptical. I did very little weights and still I gained. I ate like a bird (several small meals a day). Yet I denied myself from the foods I like to have. Yet the foods I like is whole grain and not the simple carb stuff. If this is how it is going to be then what the hell am I doing trying to kill myself faster if nothing is helping me. I have to die some day, but am I killing myself to lose weight that seems like it is not going to happen any time soon. am I killing myself faster because I have to eat way differently because I don’t like a lot of foods. So the foods I do eat is very limited. The good foods I can eat is limited because my sugar will go high with them. It looks like I am just going to have to ride this cart until the fucking wheel fall off.
If this is how my life is going to be then I don’t think I want it.
Now for the other stupid news. I dropped my phone. The window is cracked and a million parts. Now I don’t have a phone. I can’t get it replaced because I don’t have insurance. I can’t get it replaced because my renewal and upgrade is January of next year. So I don’t have a phone. Sucks!
I am at the end of my rope with no hope. I need HELP! Do anyone see me waving my white towel?
Here’s some friendly advice from someone who’s going through a similar situation: STOP STOP STOP STOP measuring your progress with weight loss. You DID have some success last week–you gave up certain foods, you’ve been exercising every day for a month, and you’re incorporating exercise into your lifestyle. Those are all successes–not failures. Weiging yourself and meaasuring your progress that way just invalidated all that. So stop! Congratulate yourself on those victories. Seriously.
Keep on keepin’ on! :0)