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Posts Tagged ‘diabetic’

I just finished my day 5 CARDIO…. Oh NAH I didn’t finish the entire video. Insanity, Insanity, Insanity! What I’m not going to do is feel sorry for myself. I will not feel bad that I could not finish. I had 15 minutes left to finish. I just didn’t have it in me. I gave the first 20 minutes my all.

I take martial arts and I couldn’t hang. Oh well! I will try it again the next time that dvd comes up again. Meanwhile, I will keep doing what I am doing. Eat  healthy and love me some me. Everything else will fall in place.

For those that don’t know. I am a picky eater and  I’m GLUTEN free. Now I hate a lot of things. I eat  wholefoods and rarely processed anything. I am not to king on salad or dressings. I rather have meat and a fruit. My area of eating needs a little help.

But let’s go back to me taking martial arts and can’t finish the cardio from Insanity.  It’s been a long six year with me doing martial arts. I get this new video to try to tone up and loose a few pounds and I am beat.

Geesh!

Like I said I am not going to beat myself up. Long as I feel good that I tried is all that matters. I do find it strange I couldn’t finish it.

I do feel great over all. I feel like I am changing my body slowly. I can’t wait to see what my end results will look like.

 

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I completed four days of Insanity. Tonight I will be doing day 5. So far so good. I find that the workout is a challenge.  I am sticking to it. In fact I look forward in dropping a few extra pounds. Anything to get rid of high blood pressure.

I had to get to the point where I had to want to do it for me.

Well it was my breaking point. As a diabetic I stress about my feet and legs the most. However, the meds I suppose to be taking for my high blood pressure  made my ankles and calf swell badly. For me I can’t handle that. I stress, what if it isn’t the meds? What if this or that. Suppose my skin breaks open and I get an infection. I can’t deal with that.

So, I’m changing somethings to be around a little long. It all starts with me.

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I guess this is a before of me that I am willing to show. I don’t know how much weight I am willing to drop, but long as I get rid of HBP (High Blood Pressure) !

 

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I have not blogged for over a year. Not sure where to start either.

I am  challenging myself to loose weight to get my blood pressure under control. I don’t like the new meds my doctor put me on. My ankles and calf are always swollen. That isn’t right nor cute. Never had that happen to me until the meds. Now I am scared to take the meds. This was one of my breaking point. You would think being a diabetic on insulin would have made me say I want to take less insulin, I need to do something. Nope! Not at all!

What made me break was the tight feeling I got from the side effects from the meds. I get scared when it comes to my feet and legs. I need my legs to kick. Besides this is interfering with my martial arts life style. Plus I don’t want a stroke or heart attack from high blood pressure.  My question to myself was this….. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

That may seem like a simple or easy question. It isn’t!

I ordered the Insanity videos. Maybe this will whip me up in shape and to get rid of the high blood pressure meds.  Not worried about the insulin,  I have a feeling I will be taking less dosage once I finish.

Today I got my insanity package. This is my day 1 of a 60 day challenge. I did the fit test.

One I am glad I take martial arts. Cause I would have not made it as far as I did. I think I did okay, but I still doubt myself.

One day at a time.

And one more thing. I hate when I read blogs from someone loosing weight and they don’t really say what they did to loose it. Just a brief I change my eating style, and joined the gym. No real details at all.

Well I am going to give you the good and bad. I will try to log my meals, my exercises, and my thoughts.

 

 

 

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Just a thought

I am sitting here thinking about life in general.  How times flies and every moment isn’t always accounted for. I have not blogged in a couple of years. I thought I would start back doing so. I even decided to do a few video blogs. Hell I really don’t have anything to loose by making a few videos. People will either like it or hate it. I guess you are wondering what will I video about. It’s simple me being me!  I am a diabetic and I have a fight to do everyday. I have to manage this disease every day. Listening to people that have no clue tell me what I can’t have. Some reason they have a doctors or endocrinologist degree I was unaware of.  Yes there are many videos out there. Yes , yes, yes! But wait, mines may not be the same ole same ole. Mines may be different. I may even show the part of me that no one sees. Well not that part because I am not that crazy. Maybe the silly or humor part of me.

I am diabetic, I am a fighter, and I am me.  A lot have changed in my life. I have a Dexcom that have saved my life several times. It is a CGM (continues glucose meter) . It reads your blood sugar levels every five minutes. It alarms when rising or dropping. It is one amazing tool for diabetics. You still have to finger stick yourself 3 times a day.  However, this is one of the best tools I have. I would not trade this in for any other.

Okay enough for the moment. I will be back soon!

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This diabetes thing is really trying my hand. One minute I am fine. The next it all goes south somewhere. By now I would think I would have better control, but that is not always the case. The good news is I no longer have to take Lantus Solar before bed time. I no longer have to take glimpride in the morning. Very good for me I should say. I watch my levels very closely and know my body. I sent my reading to my doctor. He notice the same thing I notice. My levels were way to high. I also was passing protein / sugar in my urine.

He changed my meds to Novolog 70/30 mix. My whole life took another change. Uncertain on this med, but I do know a few people who take this med. I am very scared to take meds. So, I only take what is needed. I only take two meds at this time in my life. One is for this diabetes. The other high blood pressure. I have had no issues with the blood pressure meds.

Now with this Novolog mix, I have had some good reading. I am almost normal for my readings. Which my Endocrinologist wants something around 130’s. However, I have a lot of lows. Way too many! My problem is this. Well you all read my blog. I keep it open about what foods I like. So, this is my issue. I repeat again. I HATE a lot of foods. The slightest foods with carbs will send me high. All my hated foods like rice, oatmeal, potatoes, beans, pasta, and I am sure I missed some, sends me way to high.

I stay away from them because if I was to eat bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, and other carb foods, rather good for me or not sends me high. When this happens it means I will need more meds. I am scared to death of these foods. I rarely fry my foods. The only way I like a potato is if it’s fried potatoes with onion, or french fries. Those aren’t good for me. Rice is not worth me having because I can only do about 2 tablespoons of it. Even that is a bit much for my levels. Once I eat that, it is up there like me eating a spoon of oatmeal. My levels goes over 382. That number is 2.5 hours after testing. I don’t come down until 4 to 5 hours later. I still be high in the 270’s. It is not worth it.

Beans suppose to be good for me. I do like them, but not enough to say I will have them all the time. There are only 2 I like. Navy beans and Bush Vegetarian Beans. Having those the same thing happens. Extremely too high. How would I know? I test way to often. I test before and 2 hours after meals. Sometimes 3 to 4 hours after.

There aren’t many foods I like. I wonder why I’m so fat. I don’t indulge in bad foods. I don’t go crazy with junk foods either. I like healthier foods. I rather bake my foods than fry them.

Trying to keep my sugar up is a task all by it’s self. I hate too many foods, and most of the foods I like don’t have many carbs in it. I only like 5 veggies maybe 6 and that can’t help me. I like berries strawberries for a plain simple smoothie. When I say plain it is the berries, squeezed lemon, ice, and water. That have no effects on my sugar at all. I like apples and sometimes oranges. Maybe a peach now and then, but not like I would eat it if I had a choice. I would pick the apple first.

Maybe I need to look into other culture foods other than American, because American foods have me limited and what I like.

I need a change, or the drops my become a nightmare.

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Last week I was placed on new meds. My sugars like I said before was not the best. I am now on Novolog mix 70/30. So far this has made my levels pretty good. Now I am experiencing some new things.

I have these spotted rashes. I went to the doctor today and she had no idea what they are. She do know that is is not shingles. I researched it and it is a problem with diabetics from time to time. I itch one minute but don’t the next. I don’t feel the need to scratch at all. I look like I have some sort of small rashes here and there. Maybe about 23 spots in general.

I guess it is another thing I have to worry about.  The doctor was giving me some meds to take, but I decline it because I don’t know much about this. See I had my fair share with another drug I took a few years back. I no longer trust meds. I need insulin to live, but the meds she was giving. Well I will leave that alone. I figure like this. It may cause me more harm. When she said it has side effects and call if I have any and she can give me something else to help. I just looked at her. Meds and me no thank you. Maybe I can find something less harmful for me in the morning.

 

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I just need to go up stairs and cry my freaking eyes out. Only one problem, it is impossible to do. I went to the nutritionist today. After all the hard work I have been doing for the month. I thought all would be good. I got great numbers only because I won’t eat certain foods. Well my levels are always dropping because of the meds.  I have been exercising every day for a month. I may have taken off a few days to give my body a rest.  Well I thought all was good until I stepped on the scale.

Damn, Damn, Damn! (sorry for the Lango, but if you was me you would say the same thing.)  I gained weight! This is not good for me. The more weight I gain the harder it is to live with diabetes. The key is to lose freaking weight and not gain it. This doesn’t help me at all. The more I gain my meds will be upped.

To say it is muscle that is a long shot. I walked for miles a day. I jogged some. I even got on the elliptical. I did very little weights and still I gained. I ate like a bird (several small meals a day). Yet I denied myself from the foods I like to have. Yet the foods I like is whole grain and not the simple carb stuff. If this is how it is going to be then what the hell am I doing trying to kill myself faster if nothing is helping me.  I have to die some day, but am I killing myself to lose weight that seems like it is not going to happen any time soon. am I killing myself faster because I have to eat way differently because I don’t like a lot of foods. So the foods I do eat is very limited. The good foods I can eat is limited because my sugar will go high with them. It looks like I am just going to have to ride this cart until the fucking wheel fall off.

If this is how my life is going to be then I don’t think I want it.

Now for the other stupid news. I dropped my phone. The window is cracked and a million parts. Now I don’t have a phone. I can’t get it replaced because I don’t have insurance. I can’t get it replaced because my renewal and upgrade is January of next year. So I don’t have a phone. Sucks!

I am at the end of my rope with no hope. I need HELP! Do anyone see me waving my white towel?

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