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I was on this machine when thoughts started to flow through my head.

jan21exercise2012 (1)

So many times I wondered why many people say they can’t before they try. Perhaps they have tried and nothing worked. Well I have been trying for many fails and I try again. Each time I try something new and something different. One of these days my body will give up and let good happen to it.

Since it is giving me a battle. I am giving it one back. I refuse to give up and let my body win. If I do this it means I let all odds of chance not work for me.

Someday that phrase will work for me. In the mean time I will leave it be. I thought of it just like that.

Here I am on this machine. In my head I see this huge woman. She is around 400lbs. Her legs hurt, back aches, and most of all she don’t think she can make it on here for 5 minutes.

I snapped this pic of me to go back and look at it. This mere image of me don’t look like that 400lb lady I was seeing at the gym. In fact she looked somewhat out of shape, but not enough to see what I saw.

I really have to get out that mind set on how I look. The image I see is not what others sees in me. See we all are humans and some how we have imagine of people and how we see them each and everyday. Some might be annoying, silly, stupid, shy, bashful, cute, and so on. It is all about how we carry ourselves.

You know what. I love myself regardless of how I look. America has this thing that skinny is best. Well not everyone needs to be a zero to be beautiful. As long as you are healthy that is the most important part.

Then I went on to think. I am the only one that can control my life. No one is holding a gun to my head saying stuff your cheeks with these un-healthy treats and foods. I am the one that buys the food. I am the one that don’t follow basic rules for shopping. Buy fresh and box life stays on the shelf.

I can make this change and do it now. I don’t need to wait until it is too late to say I should have, could have, would have, and so on. What is stopping me isn’t the next person. I am the only one that stops me.

So what will I do about it. I will start buy buying healthier. I am sure I will want something I use to like. Maybe one day I will have what I like from time to time.

I am not looking at anything I do as a diet, but as a change.

I started today with gluten free. My life is changing today.

Let’s see how this will work out for me.

By the way I did 20 mins on that machine. Then did 20 mins of weights right after.

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