Posts Tagged ‘fat’

I have not blogged for over a year. Not sure where to start either.

I am  challenging myself to loose weight to get my blood pressure under control. I don’t like the new meds my doctor put me on. My ankles and calf are always swollen. That isn’t right nor cute. Never had that happen to me until the meds. Now I am scared to take the meds. This was one of my breaking point. You would think being a diabetic on insulin would have made me say I want to take less insulin, I need to do something. Nope! Not at all!

What made me break was the tight feeling I got from the side effects from the meds. I get scared when it comes to my feet and legs. I need my legs to kick. Besides this is interfering with my martial arts life style. Plus I don’t want a stroke or heart attack from high blood pressure.  My question to myself was this….. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

That may seem like a simple or easy question. It isn’t!

I ordered the Insanity videos. Maybe this will whip me up in shape and to get rid of the high blood pressure meds.  Not worried about the insulin,  I have a feeling I will be taking less dosage once I finish.

Today I got my insanity package. This is my day 1 of a 60 day challenge. I did the fit test.

One I am glad I take martial arts. Cause I would have not made it as far as I did. I think I did okay, but I still doubt myself.

One day at a time.

And one more thing. I hate when I read blogs from someone loosing weight and they don’t really say what they did to loose it. Just a brief I change my eating style, and joined the gym. No real details at all.

Well I am going to give you the good and bad. I will try to log my meals, my exercises, and my thoughts.





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I can’t really call this a nightmare while woke. It should read Morningmare. That is exactly what it was.  NO, I should call this “Where is my short term memory?” I will be forever scared. Nothing can remove the image that is embedded ing my brain. No matter what I do, my short-term memory will not kick in. Where do I start?  I keep trying to pin point my start or ending. They are one in the same for this particular “MARE”.

I couldn’t sleep at all. I was up from 1am until. It was one of my days where I can’t sleep and nothing will work. It last for a day or a few weeks at a time. I watched tv and listen to Mike snore. I was going to get up to start knitting. I didn’t for the fear I would wake everyone by the click of the needles. Least they were able to sleep.

Around 5am I went to go to the bathroom. I knew My in-laws were at work and no one would be up. So that’s what I thought. Mike would be woke soon because he would be getting prepared for work. Only difference was today was his day off.  I figured I would go to the bathroom so I can try to go  to sleep. We have to go through the trap door in the floor  to enter upstairs. I open the door as usual and I looked to my left to make sure I could place my hand on the floor to be stable to climb the rest of the stairs.

I looked to my left side. What I saw would forever scar me. Two fat sloppy naked people sitting on the chair in front of the computer. I threw up in my mouth. I can still taste it. Every time I burp I taste what came up at that moment. All I heard after that “Babe it’s Lysa”. I closed the trapped door and my mind was changed. My thought on them changed. Don’t get me wrong I am a big girl  myself. At this moment I repulse by them big time. It made me think what if I looked like that.  I don’t want to eat anything anymore. I rather starve than to place anything in my mouth. I don’t want tons of jelly rolls on my body like what I saw. I don’t want to be hanging out the chair because I have extra me. I don’t want to ever see there faces again. I need some Lysol so every time I go upstairs I spray my sitting spot.

That is nasty, nasty, nasty. What if it was one of my kids going up. The girls always go up to use the bathroom around the same time. They would come back and go back to sleep. This is serious! Where is my short-term memory when I need it?

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